Tokio Hotel Welcome to England
by TheLemonWedges
Summary: "No you imbecile!" Gustav screamed. "They drive on the left in this country!" The guys from Tokio Hotel are in England when Tom decides to steal the tour bus and gets them all stranded in the middle of nowhere. Too bad he didn't take a map... Please R
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there, this is WOKgeotobi talking on behalf the lemon wedges! We decided to write this story together for another site (tokiohotelfiction) and decided to post it here as well. If you like it, review it! I was a bit stuck on categorys but everyone seemed to put their tokiohotel fanficitons into this one so I decided I would too! Luv you all lots and lots if you're reading this XXX**

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Welcome to England- Please wash your hands

"Come on guys, let's not do this. We don't know England very well, anything could happen!" Gustav began to panic as Tom slid into the tour bus' driver's seat.

"Loosen up, Gustii…" Bill sang cheerfully.

"Yeah, that stupid driver has been in that shop asking for directions for at least half an hour now and I don't think he's going to be coming back anytime soon. This may be the only chance we have to explore before the tour starts." Georg smacked Gustav round the back of the head. Tom grinned as he revved the engine and the tour bus lurched forward.

"Ugh, this thing has really bad acceleration." Tom grunted as they turned onto the road and began driving down the country lane.

"NO YOU IMBECILE!" Gustav screamed. "THEY DRIVE ON THE LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY!"

"Oops…" Tom muttered as the bus swerved to the opposite side of the road, narrowly missing an oncoming tractor. "I knew that."

"I knew this was a bad idea…"

"They'll never even know we were gone," Bill assured him. "We'll be back in no time."

"Whatever, but I'm having no part in this." Gustav stomped off to the other side of the bus and slumped down onto one of the beds defiantly. _Idiots_, he thought to himself as he slowly succumbed to his exhaustion from the long bus journeys. It took the other guys a couple of hours to realise he was asleep.

"It's the journey here that did it," Georg said, commenting on Gustav's snoring. _Beep beep._ "If he hadn't stayed awake throughout the entire thing, staring intently out the window to make sure all the cars were within a safe distance of each other, he wouldn't be so tired." _Beep beep._

"Bill, would you stop making that noise!" Tom grumbled.

"What noise?" Bill looked up from his pocket mirror.

"The beeping noise."

"What beeping noise?" _Beep beep._

"That beeping noise!"

"Oh, that's not me. That's just the noise the bus makes when it's running out of petrol," Bill grinned.

"Oh, ok." Tom nodded. "Wait….WHAT!?" He gasped as the needle on the gas meter flicked to zero and the bus suddenly skidded to a halt, throwing Gustav off his bed and onto the floor.

"Sheiße…" Bill and Tom cursed in unison.

"What the hell was that?" Gustav groaned, rubbing his head. Tom smiled at him sheepishly. "Ok, when you smile like that it can only mean two things and there's no girls here so I'm guessing you've gotten us lost."

"Well actually, the petrol ran out." Georg explained.

"Yeah, I mean I could never get you guys lost! I have a built in SatNav!" Tom scoffed.

"So where are we, _Tom?_" Gustav glared at him.

"Errm…somewhere in Wiltshire." He mumbled, holding a map upside down.

"Yes, but _where_ in Wiltshire!?"

"I'm getting to it! Uhh…in the middle of this random green patch opposite the upside down caravan and somewhere between the triangle and the long red line." Tom finished, quite pleased with himself.

"So you don't actually know where we are?"

"All SatNavs malfunction sometimes, especially where there's no signal. Plus, it's dark!"

"Well this is just perfect…"

"I know, right!" Bill giggled, completely missing the point. "I just managed to put my mascara on…left-handed!"

"No one cares," Georg sighed. "Hey, how about we go and see if we can ask someone where the nearest petrol station is?"

"In case you haven't noticed, we haven't gone past anyone for mi...." Tom pointed out.

"I. Don't. Care! I refuse to spend any longer than absolutely necessary in this bus in the company of a transvestite, a brain-dead gangster and a guy obviously on his period!" Georg exploded before Tom had finished speaking.

"Transvestite!" Bill burst out laughing. "Wait…are you talking about me?"

"Of course not, Bill." Georg rolled his eyes. "You're as macho as they come."

"You sound like you're PMSing as…" Tom began but Georg cut him off again.

"Shut up and walk!" He threw open the doors of the bus and stormed out.

"Geez, and I thought Gustav was bad," Bill whispered.

"I heard that!" Georg yelled from outside.

"No way, that's amazing!" Bill's eyes lit up. "You must have like super-hearing!"

"No, your version of whispering is just like screaming into a megaphone." Gustav huffed, following Georg. Bill and Tom looked at each other warily before Bill exclaimed, "Last one out is a mouldy Schnitzel!" They both grappled with the door handle before throwing themselves out the bus.

"Wow," Bill remarked, gazing up at the night sky. "The moon is so pretty! Just like a giant glittering diamond illuminating my soul…"

"Bill. Seriously. Shut up." Tom glowered at him. "You're totally ruining my scene." Bill childishly stuck his tongue out.

"Are you sure he hasn't got an extra X chromosome or something?" Georg wondered aloud.

"What's an X chromosome?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Bill. Just, don't worry."

"Well, it really helped coming out here." Tom said sarcastically. "Everything is so much clearer now. It was always too warm in the bus. Nothing like five-degrees-celcius to wake you up, eh?"

"Yeah, I've had my fair share of nature now. Can I go back in? My hair's going frizzy…" Bill reached for the bus door, but before he could grab the handle, it automatically slammed shut. "Err…what was that?"

"Crap." Gustav smacked himself on the forehead. "That's the automatic safety mechanism."

"The what?"

"You know, the bus door closes automatically if anyone tries to get inside without a key."

"What?"

"The thing we had installed to keep fan-girls away…"

"Actually, I never agreed to that…" Tom interrupted.

"Ok, so where's the key?" Bill looked at them all expectantly.

"Right there…" Georg pointed.

"Phew…" Bill sighed.

"…inside the bus."

"WHAT!?!" Gustav yelled. "You mean you didn't take the key with you!?"

"Hey, I wasn't the last one out the bus!" Georg shrugged.

"Well who was?"

Bill and Tom looked at each other.

"Tom." Bill mumbled as Tom said, "Bill."

"No way! You were the mouldy schnitzel!" Bill protested indignantly.

"ME!? ME!? ME!?" Tom's eyes bulged.

"It's always about you isn't it, Tom!?" Gustav fumed.

"Not always!" Georg retorted. "You're always the one moaning about how lonely you are on stage!"

"That's because he has to be at the back! You and Tom are always doing things together and Gustav's just left behind!" Bill snapped.

"I don't know what _you're_ moaning about!? The singer has the easiest job!" Tom got up on his toes to match Bill's height. "All you have to do is stand at the front and look beautiful!"

"Hey! He's supposed to look beautiful! He's our front man, it's not easy remembering lyrics in different languages!" Gustav went to stand by Bill as Georg backed up Tom.

"It's not easy remembering guitar tabs!"

"What!? You keep forgetting them! Remember that time when you messed up Rette Mich three concerts in a row? You're a crap guitarist! I'm ashamed to be related to someone so untalented!"

"How dare you!?" Tom stepped towards Bill menacingly and pushed him. "I'm the only reason this band stays together! And plus…..you sing like a girl!"

"Oh. Mein. Gott. You did not just say that!" Bill pushed Tom back, harder.

"You're such a pansy! That was a girl's push…because you're a girl." Tom scoffed, before Bill lunged at him, tackling him to the ground. Georg and Gustav watched in horror as Tom grabbed hold of Bill's hair and Bill pulled Tom's cap over his face.

"Arrrgh…" Tom muffled as he randomly threw punches at his brother.

"Ugh! You just slapped me round the face!" Bill tugged at Tom's jacket and pulled him to the side.

"Uh guys…" Georg suddenly began to panic. "You're getting too close to…" But before he could finish, Tom tried and failed to get on top of Bill and the next thing they knew, they were rolling down a large hill, heading straight for a hay bale.

"Damn it!" Gustav cursed. "Are they moving?"

"Err…I dunno…" Georg peered over the edge and saw two pairs of black boots and trainers sticking out of the straw, completely still.

"Do you think they're maybe….a little bit…._dead_," Gustav whispered, staring at Georg with wide eyes.

"By rolling into a hay bale?"

"Why not? This is Bill and Tom we're talking about. They could have died of the shock of finding straw in their perfect hair."

"True true."

"Well…that's kind of bad then isn't it?"

"Hmmmm….in some ways."

"What do you mean in some ways?"

"Think about it, we could use this as a publicity stunt!"

"I'm not sure I follow you…"

"We'll make a tragic tribute song to them and cry about how much we missed them on TV and it could kick-start our own career!"

"Huzzah! It's true, we have been overshadowed by them for years! Now it's our time to shine!"

"Exactly!"

"But what if they aren't dead?"

"Then our best friends are still alive, and that's always a plus."

"Ah yes." Gustav and Georg began to make their way slowly down the hill towards the stationary feet.

"Bill? Tom? Guys?" Georg edged towards them, poking Bill's boot. "You in there?"

"Well of course they're in there, you idiot." Gustav jumped back as the boot twitched.

"Bill?" Georg asked again. A muffling sound came from deep within the hay.

"I think they're alive, dude."

"Tmmh…" The voice rumbled again.

"Buhhh…" A deeper voice answered. Georg and Gustav stared at each other wide-eyed.

"MY HAIR!" Bill and Tom screamed in unison, shooting out of the hay bale.

"Oh my god! There's straw in my hair!" Bill jumped up and down trying to shake the straw out of his hair as Tom merely flicked his dreadlocks back and glared at the other two.

"Thanks guys, it was nice to know you care about us so much." Tom hissed.

"What are you talking about?" Gustav feigned an innocent expression.

"I heard you and your plans to write a _tragic tribute song_," Tom emphasised the last words.

"You heard that!?"

"Huh?" Bill finally looked up.

"Yes, you guys were so loud! But then I did hear the bit where you said it would be a plus if we were alive so all is forgiven!" Tom grinned as the others sighed. "Oh and Bill, sorry about earlier. You're not a girl, even if you are unusually feminine for a guy."

"Awww…." Bill clutched his heart melodramatically. "And I'm sorry for saying you were a crap guitarist."

"I love you, man." Tom smiled as the two embraced.

"I love you too, man."

"We love you too." Gustav and Georg joined in with the group hug.

"Can't…breathe…" Bill pushed the others away. "Anyway…ooh a butterfly!" He gazed up awe-struck by the multi-coloured patterns on its wings. "It's so pretty! Just like me!" Bill gave chase as the butterfly fluttered across the field and into the woods.

"Damn, not again!" Tom rolled his eyes. "The last time this happened we ended up in Lichtenstein!"

"We better hurry up then!" Georg began to run after Bill and the others followed suit. The butterfly led the guys through a thick forest until they eventually landed up in another empty field, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Bill giggled nervously.

"So where has the omniscient butterfly led us this time, eh?" Gustav put his hands on his hips, a little annoyed.

"Errm…I kinda lost it ages ago," Bill sheepishly admitted. "I just like the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair."

"Yeah, that is pretty nice," Georg agreed.

"So now we're completely lost!?"

"Yep…pretty much." Tom mumbled.

"Brilliant."

"Indeed."

"Wait, do you see that?" Georg pointed at a faint orangey light in the distance.

"Do you think it could be….maybe…the hint of civilisation in this godforsaken field of nothingness?" Gustav raised his eyebrows conspiratorially.

"It just might be…."

"See the butterfly knows all!" Bill exclaimed. "Even though I led you through the last couple of miles."

"Ok, well I'm freezing so can we please get a move on?" Tom began to head towards the light. The others trailed on behind him. As they got closer, they realised that the light was coming from a large, slightly creepy, mansion-type building. Their way was barred by wrought iron gates which Tom quickly climbed over and jumped down to the other side.

"Err…guys…" Gustav said in a hushed tone, once the others were over. "I can't get up."

"Come on Gustii, you can do it! Jump!" Bill encouraged. Gustav jumped five centimetres off the ground, his arms flapping wildly. The rest of them exploded with laughter.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm vertically challenged!"

"Ok, I'll help you." Georg let his arm swing down over the gate and hoisted Gustav up. However, Georg pulled too hard and both of them ended up tangled in a dusty heap on the ground, though not before Gustav's foot got caught between one of the bars, wrenching the gate open.

"Well, would you look at that…" Tom pursed his lips. "Why didn't we try that in the first place?"

"Because you're all idiots and you have to do things the hard way!" Gustav complained, brushing himself off. They made their way towards the looming oak door and stopped three feet in front of it.

"Who wants to knock?" Georg asked brightly. They all stared back with blank expressions on their faces. "Fine, we'll all do it. On the count of three….One…two….Bill!"

"Sorry, couldn't handle the suspense," Bill grinned, pulling back his hand. Suddenly, the door began to creak open.


	2. Chapter 2

**HELLOOOO! This is VegetarianVampire17, speaking on behalf of WOKgeotobi and Esie-Muffin (who also wrote this with me). We're soo sorry this has taken so long, we had no idea people would actually read this so thanks so much for the reviews! We love you all immensely XD This chapter has actually been written for some time, we just couldn't upload it because of the summer holidays and -shudders- exams so today's perfect considering it's Gustav's birthday. Happy birthday Gustii! :D Anyway, hope you guys like this one and don't forget to review at the end! So without further delay my fellow Tokio Hotel-ians...

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Chapter 2

_"Who wants to knock?" Georg asked brightly. They all stared back with blank expressions on their faces. "Fine, we'll all do it. On the count of three….One…two….Bill!"_

_"Sorry, couldn't handle the suspense," Bill grinned, pulling back his hand. Suddenly, the door began to creak open._

"Wow." Tom gasped, as he took in the interior of the house. A glittering crystal chandelier was suspended from the ceiling, setting the polished oak floor agleam. Spiraling upwards from the corner of the room was a majestic staircase of stone, at the foot of which lay four carefully placed bottles of Cilit Bang. A strong smell of disinfectant pervaded from the Persian sheepskin rug situated in the centre of the room.

"Nothing says fancy like a spiral staircase," Georg whispered, breaking the silence.

"Excuse me?" A high-pitched voice with a noticeably Scottish accent said, startling them all. They gazed around, hopelessly searching, before their eyes rested upon a petite girl who was staring up at them.

"Errm...it was him," Georg pointed at Tom before hiding behind him.

"Hello!" Bill giggled ecstatically. "Our bus broke down and we were wondering if you knew where the nearest petrol station is?" He continued as Gustav rolled his eyes, knowing that finding the bus, let alone a petrol station, would be pointless now.

"It's awfully cold," The girl pursed her lips. "Why don't you come in for a bit and we can talk inside?"

"Ok then!" Bill began to step forward but Gustav held him back. "What?"

"What are you doing!" Gustav hissed. "We can't just go walking into random people's houses! She could be a mass-murderer for all we know!" Bill took in the girl's diminutive appearance and innocent smile, complete with dimples, deciding she could be no more than sixteen.

"Nah, she's harmless!"

"It's always the harmless ones you've gotta look out for," Georg conspired.

"Oh come on! What's the worst that could happen?" Tom grinned, before furrowing his brow in thought.

"That's what the idiots always say in horror films, before getting impaled or decapitated or something." Gustav mumbled. They all fell silent.

"I have Skittles." The girl chirped enticingly.

"Yay!" Bill exclaimed, obliviously skipping into the house. The others groaned before begrudgingly following him, yet again. They were led to an ostentatious furnished living room where five ornate throne-like seats waited expectantly. Candles glowed from golden brackets set on the walls at regular intervals, illuminating the shiny new stereo system in the corner.

"Make yourselves at home," She smiled and then strode off to the kitchen, presumably to fetch the Skittles. Once he was sure she was out of earshot, Georg began voicing his concerns.

"This doesn't seem right to me," He shifted nervously in his chair. "She doesn't look that old, so what is she doing in a massive house like this alone?"

"Plus, she has a Scottish accent. And we're in England. Dodgy, or what?" Gustav agreed.

"But how can anyone with Skittles be evil?" Bill countered earnestly.

"Yeah, and this isn't the worst situation we've ever been in," Tom added. "We're in a fancy house with food, central heating and a cool stereo system. Plus, she's a girl. And she's not that bad...if you know what I mean..." He smirked.

"Yes, we know what you mean," Georg rolled his eyes.

"Shh, she's coming!" Gustav hushed them as footsteps sounded down the hallway. The girl appeared by the door, carrying a large box more than half her size, full of assorted flavoured Skittles. Bill's eyes bulged as she laid it in front of him, and almost had to be restrained by Tom.

"Have as many as you like, Bill." She encouraged. "There's plenty more where that came from. Oh...but wait, could you please wash your hands first?"

"Wash our hands?" Georg looked up suspiciously.

"Yes. You should always wash your hands before you eat." She suddenly became very serious, holding out a bucket of soapy water towards them.

"Ok." Bill winced at her glare, before feebly dipping his hands in and wiping them on Tom.

"Very good," She smiled approvingly. "Now you can dig in."

"So..." Tom asked offhandedly as he discarded his fifth pack of Skittles. "Do you live here alone?"

"No." The girl replied. "I live here with my parents. They're on holiday at the moment."

"Oh, so what's your name?"

Her face lit up at his question. "I go by many names, but you may call me Vampire Queen."

"What?" Georg and Gustav exchanged worried looks.

"I mean, Amy!"

"Oh, we must have misheard you." Tom apologised. "Our English isn't so good. I'm Tom."

"Believe me, I know."

"Oooh, you're a fan then!" Bill clapped his hands excitedly.

"Something like that." Amy beamed at him. "Hey, you guys must be tired. It's almost midnight. How about you stay over and you can go to the petrol station in the morning?"

"Err...I don't know about that," Gustav edged. "Maybe another time. We've got a tight schedule."

"You won't be able to find your way in the dark." She pressed.

"She's right." Georg agreed, as Gustav shot a bewildered look of betrayal at him.

"I'm sure one night won't hurt," Tom sounded rather enthusiastic at the idea. "I'd prefer to sleep somewhere comfortable rather than those _things_ they call beds in the bus."

"That's if you have enough space?"

"Sure, I have plenty of room!" Amy grinned. "Follow me!"

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Tom sunk into his luxurious memory-foam mattress, pulling the silk sheets around him. It was the most content he'd felt in months and he was planning on having the best sleep of his life. _It's nice to have some peace and quiet once in a while, _he thought to himself. Georg's snoring had been driving him crazy. _And my own room!_ He was just indulging in the silence when a creak from the door interrupted him.

"Tom?" A faint whisper came from the slight figure standing in the doorway.

"Ugh," Tom groaned. "What do you want?"

"I can't sleep." The voice was closer this time.

"Go away." Tom pulled the sheets over his head. He felt movement beside him.

"Please?" Bill poked him.

"I'm trying to sleep. Get lost!" Tom buried himself in his pillow.

"But these rooms are so big! I keep hearing noises..." He whimpered. "This place is probably haunted."

"There's no such thing as ghosts. Stop being such a baby!"

"Pretty please?" Bill tugged at Tom's shirt. "You won't even know I'm here. I won't hug you or anything, I promise!"

"For goodness' sake Bill!" Tom shrugged him off. "You do this every time!" Bill waited patiently. "I mean it, if you come onto my side..."

"I won't!" He replied quickly, sensing his brother's oncoming surrender.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Tom exaggerated his movement in turning away as Bill lay down next to him.

"You're the best identical twin brother in the world."

"I know. Now shut up."

Bill stared up at the ceiling, paranoid that some ghoulish creature would ambush them the moment he closed his eyes. "Tom?"

"What now?"

"Doesn't this ever feel weird to you?"

"What?"

"This life. You know, being famous. If things had gone differently, we could still be in Madgeburg right now."

"Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"Why must you start this conversation every single time you won't sleep on your own?" Tom huffed.

"It's just strange, that's all."

"You point that out every time, as well. Now go to sleep, we're gonna have to get up early tomorrow."

"Hmmm...'Night, Tomi."

"'Night Bill. Your leg's on my side."

"Sorry." Bill shifted to the left.

"Tom?"

"SHUT UP!" Tom growled.

"That wasn't me!" Bill protested. They both looked at each other warily as more shuffling came from the direction of the door. Tom bolted upright. Two dark shadows floated towards them. Bill gripped Tom's elbow, shaking. A streak of moonlight from between a gap in the curtains shone upon the two men standing in front of them.

"Oh my God!" Tom exclaimed, muffling Bill's scream with his hand. "You _IDIOTS!_"

"Sorry..." Georg and Gustav mumbled in unison.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He let his hand drop as Bill retained his composure.

"Bill woke us up when he was walking to your room," Georg explained. "We thought there might be something wrong?"

"Well there isn't, so bugger off."

"Okay," Gustav seemed reluctant to leave. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Tom murmured between gritted teeth.

"Well...errm, we'll be going then."

"Bye."

"What was_ that_!" Georg and Gustav jumped into the bed, either side of Tom and Bill. A scraping sound came from the window.

"Someone's trying to get in!" Bill gasped, throwing his arms around Tom.

"Get off me!" Tom tried to push both him and Georg away. The noise grew louder.

"No, I'm too young to die! I haven't even played croquet yet!" Gustav whined.

"We're not going to die, you imbeciles." Tom sighed. "It's just tree branches."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because of their shadow on the curtains, idiot."

"Oh yeah, I see that now." Georg peeked up out of the bed sheets.

"Now get lost! All I wanted was a good night's sleep. Is that so much to ask for?"

"Tom?" Bill whispered.

"WHAT!"

"I'm thirsty."

"And you're telling me because?"

"Will you come with me to get some water?"

"No. No. NO!" Tom pulled himself free and sat up.

"Wow, that's the second time you've used a triplet today." Gustav pointed out. Tom just glowered at him.

"I won't ask you for anything afterwards, please?" Bill's bottom lip twitched and his eyes widened pleadingly.

"Don't look at me like that." Tom faced the other way.

"Tomi..."

"Take one of the others with you."

"They don't take care of me like you do! I'm the only twin brother you're ever going to get, what if I get abducted by aliens or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"It's a big house. I could get lost and you'll never see me again."

"Yeah, we won't look after him." Georg pushed.

"Fine!" Tom noisily got out of the bed and Bill hopped after.

"I love you, Tom." Bill hugged him.

"Don't touch me." Tom pushed Bill away and stumbled towards the door, rubbing his eyes and with Bill clutching one of his dreadlocks. They hadn't even made it to the corridor when Tom noticed that two shadows, one short and the other shorter, flanked them on either side.

"Sorry," Georg mumbled, abashed.

"We couldn't just stay there by ourselves," Gustav added, craning his neck to gaze up at Tom with the pleading look that Bill wore so well, although it looked slightly disturbing on Gustav.

"Fine, but only if you stop making that weird face," Tom grimaced, "It's starting to freak me out."

Gustav murmured his assent and hastily rearranged his features back into something that was hopefully more pleasing to Tom.

"Do you actually know where we're going?" Bill wondered aloud, as they descended a dark mahogany flight of stairs into a previously unseen corridor.

"Of course he does, he's the amazing Mr. Built-in-SatNav-that-doesn't-function-in-the-dark!" Georg scoffed. Tom ignored him and shuffled onwards.

They pushed open the heavy pine-wood door at the end of the corridor, which led them back into the main atrium with the smelly sheepskin rug in the middle.

A solitary packet of Skittles lay in the centre of the pattern made with the Cilit Bang bottles. Bill clapped his hands in delight and scampered over to them.

"No, Bill! You've already brushed your teeth!" Tom scolded him, walking over to the spiral staircase and snatching the packet from Bill's hands.

"OK, fine, you have that one. There's more over there. And there! And there!" he squealed, pointing as he ran further up the staircase.

"Bill! Get back here!" Tom teetered on the edge of the bottom step, conflicted. The stone chafed his heels as he rocked back and forth. Should he leave his brother to his own Skittles-driven devices or intervene at the potential cost of his beauty sleep?

"Just eat the damn Skittles and start walking!" Georg huffed, barging past him with Gustav in tow. Tom shrugged, slipped a lime-flavoured sweet into his mouth, then savoured the delightful taste for a moment before following his irksome brother up the staircase. _Besides_, he thought. _I'm beautiful enough already._ Really, how much more could the girls take? _I'm pushing their sanity with my divine looks as it is. _Tom paused to stare at himself in the pocket mirror - which he kept in a conveniently hidden compartment in his boxer shorts - and looked up only when he felt the ground flatten out beneath him.

"What is it?" He sucked in a shocked breath as he finally noticed what had made the others freeze in front of him. Georg dropped his own packet of Skittles in horror.

And then it went black**.

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**Muhahahaha! Oh Bill and Tom, how we love you! Hope you enjoyed it :D Please please let us know what you think and if you have any favourite parts. Even if it has nothing to do with the story and you just want to talk about Tokio Hotel, that's fine with us XD Oh and we tried to upload this onto the official Tokio Hotel fiction site a few months back but it was rejected for some reason so if you have any ideas of how we can improve then please let us know. I think it was because of our 'english' spelling because they said it was mainly grammar stuff but if that's what it is then...nerr, we're not conforming :P Anyway, thanks for reading guys!**

**TLW**

**xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry guys, i know it's been another long wait but the moment we got a chance to work on this again we finished it all in one day so i hope you guys like it! The joy of snow days...even though they're rare in England XD We have had a fair amount though...yeah anyway here you go! Oh and thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Your sheer awesomeness is indescribable.

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Chapter 3

"Urghh..." Gustav groaned, struggling to open his eyes. There was a dull ache in the back of his head and his wrists stung. Gustav fought with the haze in his mind, trying to figure out what had just happened. He could see the tour bus, then Bill and Tom's sprawl by the side of the road. "Aahh..." The pain in his head throbbed again. Gustav ignored it, going back to retracing his steps. He remembered how they'd all run off after Bill and the butterfly, and then ended up at the big, scary mansion-place. _The mansion!_ His thoughts began to become slightly clearer. _Think, Gustav, think!_ He recalled the slightly strange Scottish girl - Amy - and how the others had agreed to stay the night, despite his protests. _They should have listened to me! _Gustav remembered back to how he had accidentally ended up in that gay bar in Berlin and found Georg there and..._no, too far back!_ He shuddered internally, then concentrated on how he had gone to Tom's bedroom, and how he and Georg didn't want to be left alone when Bill and Tom went to get some water. _Water?_ Had they gotten the water? _Why can't I remember what happened next? _He shook his head - hoping that would help make sense of it all - but the only thing that came to mind was how much he detested green skittles. "OH!" Gustav's eyes snapped open as it all suddenly came back.

He squinted, adjusting to the lights shining down on him. "What the...?" Rolled out in front of him was a red velvet carpet, adorned with petals. Bill was at the end, strapped to a chair, head drooping. _Did he wear that black tuxedo to bed?_ Gustav tried to move but then realised that his own hands were tied behind him; it was the rope that was making his wrists sting.

"Bill?" He croaked. "Bill, can you hear me?"

"Gustav?" A deeper voice than he had been expecting replied.

"Tom?" Gustav turned to the left and saw that Tom was in the same predicament, Georg still passed out on the chair next to him. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Tom shook his head, frustrated. "The last thing I remember is looking at myself in the mirror, and then I woke up like this."

"Yeah, I can't remember much either."

"Err Gustav, what are you wearing?" Tom raised his eyebrows.

"Huh?" Gustav looked down for the first time and gasped. He was covered in a white cloak-type thing, with a black band around his neck. "No!"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Tom. I'm never thinking what you're thinking."

"Yeah, but this time I'm pretty sure you're thinking what I'm thinking."

"Really? Because that would depend on what you were thinking and that's usually very different to what I'm thinking."

"I'm not thinking about girls!"

"Ah, that changes things. I may well be thinking what you're thinking."

"That's what I was thinking."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO THINKING!" Bill suddenly exclaimed.

"Hey there, Bill!" Gustav grinned. "I think I'm thinking what he's thinking."

"WHICH IS?"

"No need to shout! I was just thinking that we may be being forced into a wedding."

"Oh, really?" Tom frowned. "I was thinking you were having like, a Bar Mitzvah or something."

"I'm not Jewish."

"Yeah, and?"

"Never mind." Gustav rolled his eyes.

"Wait a second." Bill's eyes narrowed. "You said that you think we may be being forced into a wedding. How does that make sense?"

"Well for one, I'm dressed like a priest, you guys are all wearing tuxedos and there are so many flowers in this place I think I might be getting high on the pollen."

"But that...who would..." Bill sighed. He couldn't take such complicated matters in the middle of he night. "Someone wake Georg up." He finally decided. Tom leaned his head back and then swung all of his dreadlocks forward so that they smacked Georg right in the face. How he hated not being able to use his hands.

"I'm not gay!" Georg screamed, suddenly regaining consciousness. He shook his head violently and blew his hair from his face so that he could take account of his surroundings. "What are you all staring at?"

"Nothing." Tom smirked at him. Georg held his gaze for a long moment and blinked only when a noise from the other side of the room startled them.

"Quick, hide!" Bill gasped, before remembering that they were tied to chairs.

"Hello boys." Amy burst into the room dramatically and flicked back her white veil. Bill let out a high-pitched scream. "_WHAT!"_ She demanded of him, indignantly.

"Sorry," He shrugged, sheepish. "I was expecting something much worse. You know, like in horror films."

"Yeah, easy mistake to make." She nodded. "So, how are the clothes? Do they fit? They should, I checked your sizes on the internet. Though you can't always trust the internet, I guess."

"Yes, they're good," The boys replied. "Perfect. Really nice around the shoulders."

"WAIT!" Tom suddenly came back to his senses.

"What is it, Tom?"

"One second, I had this all planned out in my head. Your question threw me off."

"Take your time."

"Okay, let me start again." Tom shook his head. "WAIT! Why have you kidnapped us and tied us to chairs? And what's with the wedding set-up?"

"I thought it would be obvious." Amy frowned. "I'm getting married."

"Oh congratulations!" Bill exclaimed obliviously.

"Ah Bill, you're so funny!" Amy giggled. "That's why I love you so much. I always have. Even before I was in the womb. I knew you were the guy for me."

"Huh?" His smile faltered.

"There shouldn't be secrets between a wife and her husband so I might as well tell you." She rolled her eyes. "When I first heard you were coming to the UK on tour, I hacked into your manager's computer to change your schedule so that you would end up in this small remote town, in the middle of Wiltshire. I then messed with your driver's SatNav so that he would have to stop and ask for directions, then paid several of the shop assistants to keep him talking for as long as possible. While you guys were occupied, I had someone else tamper with your petrol so that you would only have enough to lead to you to the place where you finally broke down, since I guessed you'd get bored eventually and would take off. As your biggest fan, I know everything about you and everything you've ever done. So, I knew about Bill's tendencies to follow butterflies and that time in Liechtenstein. I had a mechanical one constructed to lead you in the general direction of my house. Unfortunately, I lost the signal after a while and it appeared that the butterfly had broken down but as if by chance, Bill kept you running towards me. Because this is destiny. Even fate wants us to be together. So there. Here you are now, before me, on the happiest day of my life." She wiped a tear from her eye and looked down at the dumbfounded expressions on the boys' faces.

"Dude."

"But wait a second, even if you managed to do all that, how did you take us all down at once?" Gustav leaned his head back, trying to block out the throbbing pain.

"Why, the skittles of course! I knew you guys would fall for that. But for some reason, you Gustav, did not pass out so I had to get the crowbar."

"The skittles?" Bill's eyes widened. "But they've never betrayed me before. Why?"

"It was the green ones, to be specific." Amy explained. "They contained the sleeping draught."`

"Ugh, I hate green skittles!" Gustav groaned.

"Well that explains it then. I'll have to note that for future reference."

"Okay, so what exactly was the point of this all?" Tom inquired.

"I've already told you, Bill and I are getting married. Our love is meant to be!"

"How?"

"Ah well you see, I took the liberty of getting Gustav ordained as a priest online a few months back when my plan was being formed. He's going to marry us."

"So that's why I kept getting those weird e-mails!"poo Gustav mumbled to himself.

"We only need two witnesses to make it official," Amy continued. "That's you Tom, and Georg."

"Your plan seems to have worked so far," Gustav commended. "But what makes you think that I'll help you? I am a man of God after all, apparently, so I must not do anything...ungodly."

"Oh, I have that part sorted as well." Amy grinned. "You see, I happen to have obtained a wee video from a most secret source. Does the 5th March mean anything to you?"

"No." Gustav replied, almost too quickly.

"Really? So you wouldn't mind me showing your band mates this video from the fifth of March right now?" She waved a tape in her hand. "I'm sure Georg especially would be interested in seeing this one."

"Don't do it!" Gustav finally yelped. "I'll marry you, fine. Just, destroy it. Do it now!"

"After we're married." Amy smiled, satisfied.

"What happened on the fifth of March, Gustav?" Georg asked, curiously.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Gustav coughed, avoiding their glances. "I am a man of God."

"You may have Gustav under your thumb but I sure as hell won't let you marry my brother." Tom huffed. "I refuse to bear witness!"

"How? It's not like you can move or anything." Amy pointed out.

"Lalalalalalala," He sang, keeping his eyes tightly shut.

"So immature." She sighed, walked up to a table in the corner and picked up a bottle of perfume.

"Oh crap no!" Georg screamed as she brought it up to his face and sprayed it in his eyes.

"What?" Tom's eyes flew open. "Aah! Okay I'm witnessing! I will witness it all!"

"And you Georg?" She brought the perfume closer.

"I'll witness everything! No part of this marriage shall be un-witnessed...by me." He blinked to try and get rid of the tears.

"Very good."

"What about me?" Bill piped from his chair on the other side of the carpet.

"Yes, love of my life?" Amy turned to him sweetly.

"Why should I marry you?"

"Because if you don't, I'll throw your brother out the window. And believe me, the ground is very hard."

"You wouldn't!" Bill breathed.

"No, I probably wouldn't. But I will."

"How does that make sen..."

"SILENCE!" Amy yelled. "Are you really willing to take that chance?"

"No." Bill gulped, staring desperately at Tom.

"Right. Now Gustav, I just need to go and get your lines. I'll be back." Amy smiled once again at Bill before striding out the door, her extravagant white dress –which had the Tokio Hotel symbol embroidered onto it – puffing out behind her. There was a click as she locked the door. The boys jumped into action immediately.

"We need to get out of here. Now." Tom struggled to undo the ropes that were tying him up at the back. Bill hopped in his chair across to the other three.

"Wait, I have an idea!" He grabbed the bottle of perfume that Amy had left on the floor between his feet and placed in on Tom's lap.

"What the hell are we supposed to do with that?"

"Spray it on your hands, it'll help them slide out. It sounds crazy enough that it might actually work." Bill turned his back to Tom, took the perfume in his hands and sprayed it onto his wrists. "All these years wearing tight wristbands which often get stuck have made me quite flexible." After another moment or so, Bill's hands finally came loose. He quickly undid the rest of the ropes that were tying him to the chair and moved to getting the other boys free.

"Well done, Bill." Gustav patted him on the back before running over to the tape he'd been threatened with before. He stamped on it several times and then turned back to the others. "So, how do we get ourselves out?" There was a small window facing towards the gates where they had first entered, though the room they were in was a couple of storeys high.

"We could use you Tom!" Bill clapped his hands in delight. "You can be like Rapunzel and we'll all climb down your hair."

"Err, my hair's not that long." Tom gripped his dreadlocks protectively.

"We could use the rope?" Georg suggested.

"Brilliant!" They grabbed the pieces of rope that had been used to tie them to the chairs and bound them all together. Gustav took it over to the window and slung it over.

"It's perfect."

"OH MY GOD!" Bill squealed.

"What!" Gustav jumped, letting go of the rope. "OH CRAP!"

"Oops." Bill laughed nervously. "I just saw my reflection in the mirror. My hair looks horrible."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"We could tie up our clothes?" Georg offered.

"No, they wouldn't be strong enough to support our weight."

"Okay, turn around." Tom said abruptly.

"What?"

"Just don't look." They all turned towards the window, away from Tom. "Bill stop peeking!"

"What? I've seen it all before." Bill shrugged.

"Wait, why is he stripping?" Georg asked.

"Oh yeah. Why are you stripping, Tom?"

"There, now you can look." Tom said finally.

"Do we really want to?"

"I'm dressed."

"Woah, what are _they?_" Gustav motioned towards the items he was holding in his hands.

"My boxer shorts." Tom rolled his eyes.

"You wear more than one?"

"I need it for the...err...extra protection." He looked away.

"Protection from what? A nuclear bomb?"

"That's not important right now. What is important is that they are huge, very stretchy and won't break no matter what. _Trust me._"

"I'm not sure if I want to be climbing down them but I guess we have no other options right now do we?" Georg sighed, giving Gustav a pointed glance. Tom secured one end of the line of shorts to the curtain rail and pushed it over the edge of the window.

"It's a little shorter than the last one so you're going to have to jump for the last bit Gustav, but the rest of us should be tall enough," Tom laughed.

"Right, I'm going to go first," Bill swung his leg over the window and grabbed hold of the shorts. "You guys are all heavier so I don't want to be left up here if it breaks."

"Ready?" Tom checked that their makeshift rope was secure.

"Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

**That was so much fun :P Hope you guys liked it, please review and let us know what you think! Every little comment is much appreciated :D Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! ****

**Lots of love**

**TLW **

**xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! Yes amazingly we are still alive. Sorry this has taken so long but we've all been reaally busy with uni stuff and man it's so stressful D: Thanks so much to all of you who have stayed with us these long years and to those of you who are new to this story, count yourself lucky :P Without further adieu, we present to you the final chapter...enjoy.**

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Chapter 4

"NEIN!" Gustav screamed, his pupils dilating. His heart palpitated unevenly and he went pale. "Why do you never listen to me?" He cried, smacking himself across the forehead. "I told you his underwear couldn't hold all three of you! Why did you all get on at once!?" Gustav threw himself upon the floor and beat his fists shrieking, "YOU NEVER LISTEN!" Suddenly his head began to feel very light.

"Gustav?" Tom whispered up, seeing the shape of Gustav's head at the window.

"I think he's having another panic attack," Georg mumbled.

"Gustav, try and jump!" Tom shouted, abandoning all caution.

"Yeah, Georg will break your fall!" Bill encouraged.

"Yes he will!" Georg agreed enthusiastically. "Wait. I'm Georg. _Stay up there!_"

"Oh mein Gott!" Bill exclaimed suddenly. The other two turned to look at him and found him staring at the moon again.

"What is it this time?" Tom asked urgently, his eyes flickering between Bill and Gustav's window.

"It's the moon, it looks like my face!" Bill whispered, his eyes shining. Tom looked at his brother blankly and turned back towards the mansion. Suddenly, the shape in the window that could only have been Gustav slunk out of view, crashing to the floor.

"He fainted!" Tom gasped. "We'll never get him out now! It always takes him at least half an hour to recover. The kranke Sau."

"Well, hey, at least that tragic tribute song won't go to waste now." Georg grinned. "I already had the first couple of verses composed in my head when I thought you guys had died in that hay bale."

Tom felt tears in his eyes, but he knew he couldn't let them fall. He was the manly one. Tom Kaulitz did not cry. Tom Kaulitz did _not _cry. Apart from that one time he watched Hairspray. Tom glanced over at Bill who was still staring at the moon, and then at Georg who was humming a few bars of his tribute song. He fell to the ground bawling his eyes out. _WHY!? _His thoughts keened mournfully. _Why did I have to get stuck with these two insensitive, self-absorbed idiotic Berliners!? Yes, Gustav was also a pain in the arse, but at least he had half a brain. WHY ME!? _Suddenly, a high-pitched scream brutally mutilated the silence. Tom coughed once, but then realised it hadn't emanated from him. When the scream came to an end Bill piped up, "Till you feel it." Then Bill screamed and Georg sang enthusiastically, "Till you believe it." Tom screamed in frustration.

"And when it hurts you scream it out loud." Amy's voice rang from the megaphone poking through Gustav's window. "Shutup." Bill clapped happily. "Ah boys," She began. "...oh look it's Tom's underwear..." Amy giggled, her attention diverted. Tom looked at the ground awkwardly. "Anyway, as I was saying. Ah boys, so much fun we've had today. But it's about to get a lot more interesting. Very clever you were to have escaped, but it seems you left something behind. Something which err...appears to be foaming at the mouth. Eww. What is he doing!? Yeah so, regardless, I'm pretty certain you want him back. I don't know why, but I'm sure you have your reasons. So I'm going to make you a deal. Give me my Bill and you can take this...thing...back to whence it came."

"I don't think he'd fit in his mother's uterus anymore," Georg mused. Tom smacked him round the back of the head.

"GIVE ME MY BILL!" Amy's voice repeated ominously.

"Okay, just give me a moment," Bill ran off into the darkness. Tom reached his arm out longingly.

"No Bill, don't give in! We'll think of something!" But it was too late. Bill had disappeared and Tom had lost his one and only identical twin brother.

"I hope you're happy!" Tom yelled at Amy.

"Oh believe me, I will be." Amy cackled. Just then however, Bill came loping back bearing a large brown envelope.

"Yay!" Tom squealed. "I mean...cough...good to see you mate."

"It is done." Bill said.

"What is done?" Georg asked.

"Well, it is almost done." Bill folded the envelope into an aeroplane and aimed it at the window. "Fly Jumbie! Be free! Now it is done." Tom and Georg stared at him. They waited in silence.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Amy shrieked. "The interest rate has gone up by 2%. TWO PERCENT!"

"What!?" Bill clasped his hand across his mouth. "That's shocking. Stupid recession."

"I'll just have to sell some of Tom's underwear to pay for this."

"Wait, what was in that envelope?" Georg asked Bill.

"Her bill, you Currywurst. She said she wanted her bill, so I gave it to her. She's got to pay it by tomorrow. Left it a bit late, haven't you?" He called up to her.

"Yeah, that's what happens when the parents are out. Wait, why are we having this conversation? I didn't want _this _Bill, you crazy man. I want my other Bill. My living, breathing, singing Bill!"

"Don't we all?" Bill grinned. "Wait, she has a living, breathing, singing Bill!? What company is it from?"

"Kaulitz," She purred.

"Really? Is that water, gas or electricity?"

"All of them."

"Kaulitz, eh? What a coincidence. That's just like my...ah." Bill's eyes bugged wide.

"Just like your ah?"

"Ahhhrdvark." Bill tried to cover his mistake.

"Smooth," Tom remarked.

"Enough of this nonsense!" Amy cried, exasperated. "Bill, get your perfectly-shaped arse up here right now. RIGHT NOW."

"Seeing as we're identical, thank you." Tom winked at her.

"NOW!"

"Ok, keep your hair on." Tom pulled Georg and Bill to him. "Right, what are we going to do?"

"Wait, first, what rhymes with Gustav?" Georg wondered aloud.

"Moustache," Bill answered.

"Danke."

"Focus guys!" Tom slapped the both of them around the face. "We need to get Gustav out of there. Alive. Foam and all. So any ideas?"

"Ooh I know!" Bill raised his hand, jumping up and down. "Pick me! Pick me!"

"Yes, you Bill." Tom pointed at Bill.

"Yay! Okay, has anyone noticed how many butterflies there are in England? Well, we could play them a song to get all the butterflies to come together in harmony and lift Gustav out of the window, down to us. Then we could offer them Skittles for their troubles. Also I think I should get extra points for prettiness."

"_Any_ ideas, Georg? Any at all?" Tom turned toward him desperately, completely ignoring Bill. Bill pouted.

"Well, let me see..." Georg stroked his imaginary beard as he pondered the situation, taking on the pose of Rodin's 'thinker statue.' "But if...hmm...ah yes...what if the cheese...no...golf cart...indeed...possibly...if Dumbledore...no...maybe Gandalf...perhaps not...nope sorry guys. No ideas." Tom looked around wildly for inspiration. His gaze settled on Bill's trousers.

"Bill, take your trousers off."

"Alright..." Bill reached to undo his belt. "Wait, what?"

"Just take them off. Right now." Tom insisted.

"Do you want me to undress too?" Georg asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

"NO!" Tom looked aghast. "Keep your clothes on. Just Bill."

"I see how it is." Georg huffed, turning away from them both. "Just keep it down." Bill handed Tom his trousers, puzzled.

"What now?"

"...I need your boxer shorts too."

"Get your own!" Bill jumped back from him.

"But it wouldn't be the same..."

"Ok, what the hell is going on guys?" Georg turned back around. "This is not the time or place. And it's a little bit disturbing actually."

"Bill has some make-up in a secret compartment in his boxers."

Bill's eyes widened. "You know about that!?"

"I'm your big brother, Bill. I know everything."

"Ok, but this still doesn't explain anything. Why do you want _my_ make-up?"

Tom held out his hand, tutting impatiently. "You'll see." Then he laughed manically up into the sky.

**_10 minutes later..._**

Amy paced around the room. It had been a while and there were no signs of her Bill anywhere. Gustav gurgled from the corner of the room, still very much unconscious. She threw a handkerchief at him in disgust.

"What's taking them so long?" She sighed. "Surely, they haven't abandoned you. But it has been pretty quiet out there for the last few minutes. Maybe Bill is just saying goodbye to his brother. But why this long? He's only known him since before he was born. He won't miss him that much." Just then, she heard a scuffle outside and a loud knock on the door. She squealed happily. "He's here." She ran back down the spiral staircase, through the main atrium and skidded to a stop at the door. Then taking a moment to fix her hair and smooth down her wedding dress, she flung the door wide open, smiling widely.

"I DO...not know who you are..." She stared uncomprehendingly at the tall figures before her.

Both men we were wearing three-piece suits, and sported dark sunglasses. The one on the right badly needed a shave and the other had a vertical scar in the middle of his forehead. Amy gaped at them, mouth wide open. The one on the right ran his hand through his slicked back hair and began to speak in an accent that she couldn't place.

"Top o' the mornin' to you," He said. "My name is Fabian, and this is my brother from another mother, Brauni." The two men fist-bumped. "We have been sent from Division 483 of the World Behind the Wall, to warn you of the dangerous plague which is being spread by English butterflies...in this area specifically." Amy gasped in horror.

"What does the plague do?"

"It appears to be only affecting short people," Brauni said. "They foam at the mouth, develop a lisp and spontaneously burst into terrible songs...of the..." Brauni choked on the word and whispered. "Justin Bieber variety."

Amy's thoughts wandered to Gustav laying upstairs. He had been making horrific noises earlier. Some of it could definitely have been classed as Justin Bieber-worthy. She couldn't let these men find him.

"Well do come in. Tea, Fabian?"

"No thanks, we'd actually prefer to stay outside here, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself." _Muhahaha_, Amy thought. _My epic reverse psychology skills._ "So, how can this plague be stopped?"

"Stopped?" Brauni raised his eyebrows. The two men looked at each other and laughed. "Oh no, it cannot be stopped. However, we are taking special measures to make sure it doesn't spread any further."

"Indeed." Fabian added. "Specially trained dogs have been unleashed which will track down and kill the infected butterflies, in the most violent way possible. None will survive."

"One second." Brauni grabbed Fabian by the collar and turned him away from Amy. "Tom," Bill whispered.

"What?"

"Are the dogs really going to...kill the butterflies?" His voice trembled.

"No, you Doofenshmirtz." Tom spun them both back round to face Amy.

"Well, thank you for the warning." Amy said, beginning to close the door. Suddenly, Tom heard a muffled 'Scheisse' from the side of the house.

"Wait!" Tom wedged his foot in the door. "We have a specially patented cleaning formula that will get rid of any butterflies the dogs miss, if you're interested?"

"Cleaning, you say?" Amy's eyes lit up. She threw the door open. "Do go on..."

**_On the other side of the house..._**

"Scheisse!" Georg grumbled, rubbing his buttocks. That was the third time he'd fallen out of the tree. At first Tom's plan had seemed simple enough – climb up the tree that had scared them earlier, into Tom's bedroom, and then follow the smell of Bill's hairspray to the room where Gustav was left, to rescue him - but he hadn't factored in Georg's inaptitude with trees. He glared up at the tree and stood up to do battle once more. The tree was not directly in front of the window, but a few of the branches were just long enough to brush against the glass. Luckily, Tom had opened the window earlier since he tended to get very hot at night. The problem was the branches near the window were too thin, and Georg was just too hunky for his own good.

"Maybe if I jump..." Georg mused, estimating the angle he would need to propel himself at to land comfortably on Tom's bed. He began to scale the tree again, cautiously staying close to the trunk. He squatted on a branch a few feet above Tom's window and then got into a diving position.

"Drei..." Georg mumbled. "Zwei...eins!" He pushed himself off the branch and sailed through the window. A part of his mind began to celebrate as he flew towards Tom's bed, but the feeling soon turned to panic as he continued in a graceful arc, completely bypassing the nice, soft mattress. He landed with an excruciatingly painful thump on the hard, cold, not-mattressy floor.

"Don't worry Gustav..." He wheezed. "I'm coming." Then he passed out.

**_Meanwhile..._**

Bill pulled out his hairspray and shook it enthusiastically. Careful to hide the logo, he passed it to Tom.

"Danke, Brauni." Tom said, beginning to spray it on the walls of the house.

"It has an extra large nozzle so it covers a large surface area in one spray!" Bill grinned.

"Indeed, and it also eliminates limescale." Tom added.

"Ah, so it's like a double-edged sword!" Amy chirped. Tom and Bill looked at each other.

"No." They said in unison.

"Unless swords in England look like Aerosol cans?" Bill speculated.

"Anyway..." Tom got back to the task at hand. "Just leave it on for five minutes and it will diffuse into the air. Then, the...err...ButterDie...yes, that's what it's called...will clog up their...breathing tubes...like a toilet...and they will suffocate mid-flap and fall to the ground. Then, to get rid of all possible infection, it slowly eats away at their insides, dissolving their internal organs."

"Do they have internal organs?" Amy interjected.

"Yes..." Tom said impatiently. "Internally. It first attacks their appendix, and then moves...errm...up. To its bladder." He suddenly wished he hadn't skipped all those biology lessons in school. There was only one topic he was really concerned with anyway. "The last organ to be affected is..." He paused dramatically. "The brain." He whispered, with a small smile, noticing Amy's shocked expression.

"Brauni!" She gasped. "What's happening to your face?"

Tom looked over at Bill and saw that his make-up was running down his face.

"That's a horrible way to die! Why would you do that?" Bill sobbed, Brauni's features melting. "Don't buy it!" Amy looked on in horror as freckles began to slide down his face. Tom covered Bill's face with his hands. "Don't worry about him." Tom giggled nervously. "He's just...errm...from the Matrix. Yes, he's from the Matrix. Being transformed into Agent Smith." Just then, Tom saw Georg behind Amy, dragging Gustav noisily (and probably painfully) down the stairs. She began to turn around.

"Wait, watch!" Tom pushed Bill to the floor, attempting to divert Amy's attention, making loud bullet noises. He bent over backwards, and struck a series of Matrix-style gravity-defying poses. Amy clapped in appreciation. Georg had now reached the bottom of the stairs, and looked at Tom wildly.

"What now?" He mouthed.

"Oh My Gott!" Tom suddenly yelped. "I mean, God. There has been a disturbance. A butterfly-related disturbance! Can you feel the air currents changing?" Amy stepped outside.

"I can!" She exclaimed.

"Really?"

"Yes, does that mean there's a butterfly nearby?"

"Yes!" Bill sobbed, curled up in the foetal position on the floor. "But not for long." He glared at Tom.

"Precisely, we must kill the menace at once!" Tom grabbed Amy by the arm. "Come with me!" They ran off to the back of the house, leaving Bill twitching spasmodically on the ground. Georg dragged Gustav the last few feet to the door, and kicked Bill, before slumping to the ground to join him. Gustav stirred sleepily.

"Baby, baby...ooh..." He groaned, sitting up. Bill looked at him curiously. "What are you two doing on the floor?"

"Dying slowly," Georg grumbled. "How much fish and chips have you been eating?"

"Let's not go there." Gustav blushed. "Wait, aren't we meant to be escaping?"

"Oh yeah!" Bill jumped up immediately, the anguish of the butterflies forgotten. "Ready, set, GO!" They all dived into a nearby bush as Tom came back around with Amy.

"Maybe we'll get it next time, those wily devils..." Amy was muttering. "So, how much for the ButterDie?"

"Errm...you can have the first bottle for free," Tom winked at her. "Well, nice meeting you. Stay safe madam." He bowed as she closed the door on him. He searched around for the rest of his bandmates and noticed the tip of Bill's hair, framing the bush. "She's gone!" He said, tugging on it. "Is Gustav okay?"

"_He's_ fine," Georg moaned. "As for me on the other hand...I don't know if I'll make it."

"Look at that!" Bill pointed at the sky. "What a pretty duck. Just like me!" He bounded out of the bush and ran after it squealing. "Come on, it will guide us!"

"Yes, but guide us where?" Tom, the SatNav asked. But Bill was already gone.

"Well, it couldn't be much worse than this." Gustav shrugged, loping after him. Tom and Georg looked at each other and began to follow, though not before Tom placed a small card on Amy's doorstep as a Scottish scream echoed through the house.

**_Three weeks later..._**

Gustav picked up the complimentary hotel newspaper and scanned the main headlines. Skipping to the entertainment section, he caught sight of a full-colour picture of Joe Jonas with his arm around a girl in a white dress. The headline read 'Jonas ties the knot.'

"Wait, isn't that Amy?" Gustav held the page up to Tom who nodded with a satisfied smirk.

"Exactly as planned." He cackled. "I left his contact details at her house, so she wouldn't bother Bill any more."

"Ah, how sweet." Georg cooed. "Hey, Bill! Did you hear that?" But Bill wasn't paying attention. He was staring out of the window at a small moving insect. Tom's eyes widened.

"No. Bill, step away from the window." He edged slowly toward his brother. Bill pressed his nose up against his window.

"But it's so pretty. _Like me!_" Bill opened the window and leapt out, giving chase.

Georg gasped in horror. Gustav fainted. Tom screamed.

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**Hehehe :D Thanks again to all of you for reading, this story has been so amazing to write and hopefully (though we're not promising anything) this won't be the end of Tokio Hotel's crazy adventures. They're just too much fun to play with :P All reviews will be greatly appreciated! Danke!**

**TLW**

**xxx**


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